Connectivity in; Solitude lost

When I came home last night from work, my younger son Phil hurriedly told me, "Mom, Kuya Jam is not anymore connected!" I looked at him with surprise and asked "What do you mean by not anymore connected?" He said, "Kuya deleted his Facebook account." I did not show any reaction at first, but I thought something must have happened.

I must say my two boys did not grow up having PSPs, MP3s, and other gadgets. Yes, once they were little, they would always brag me about these stuff, but with a heavy heart I would always turn them down. Well I explained to them the disadvantages of having these 'manipulators' in their life. But the irony of it all, their friends and cousins had all of these, yet when they played games, they always had the highest scores. I got smart kids after all!

When kids his age were busy playing PSP and listening to MP3 my older son Jam was busy reading his classics and later on with a very discriminating taste, jumped to science fiction. Not only that, he was also hooked on playing NBA on the computer. I was extremely strict when it comes to games downloaded on the computer. They only had NBA games.

Time travels so fast. Now that they're both young men, 18 and 15 respectively, only the older one has cellphone. The younger one, Phil doesn't have an inkling to connect. However his passion is music. So when he told me he wanted a guitar, we hurriedly bought one.

After taking dinner, I waited for Jam to tell me the real score about his facebook account. "Mom, I disconnected myself from the world of dreams, hypocrisy and lies." I was stunned. For a moment, I was speechless. He added, "People have become insincere and dumb."

I told Jam, "All the world's a stage and each must a play a part." We are digitally connected and many of us feel fascinated about this. Because of the radical changes in communications technology, our lives take place, more than ever, in what we call the "front stage." In other words, we are constantly performing and we find there's less and less time to retreat to the back stage," to take a break and be OURSELVES."

"And I give my hats off to you son, for taking a break. I know it's not easy, but you did without second thought."

The most intimate of our relationships, in which we used to take refuge and confinement, can be viewed by people we hardly know but who are part of this ever expanding social network. We are trapped in a box wherein we can no longer talk in whispers, or tell a joke that will not be a potential scandal. In short, our solitudes have become public. We lost the time to reflect because we are in a baseball field where every one is into a race.

Letter writing is a bullet train.One can chat even miles apart. However, I truly miss the art of letter writing. I remember going to a bookstore that was always on sale to buy colorful stationeries. The time spent composing words and going to the Post Office will forever be a memory. Nowadays, we have ecards...amazing!

Social media recast social relations. The rise of virtual identities have become complicated. You are your own avatar ready to rule the world of illusion. Relationships come and go. You want to deactivate and you're not connected. We have lost that thing called human touch. What we have is simply virtual connection. Moreover, people can create as many accounts to serve as their alter ego. This is also their way of manipulating lies on social networking sites. Poor people... they are into this pragmatic world of deception and dishonesty. "Honesty is such a lonely word...everyone is so untrue" as the popular song goes. I have to believe that honesty nowadays is a luxury.

Indeed, I am now having second thoughts of taking a break, what about you?